2 Week Wait

Oh, the two week wait… how I loathe thee.

David and I had our second IUI this past Tuesday, Oct. 24 and I’m feeling pretty hopeful this time around.  Our stats are much better and I found a new acupuncturist who was able to see me right before and right after the procedure to boost our odds.

On our first round we had two mature follicles, 7.2 mm uterine lining, 17 million sperm and no acupuncture.

THIS time around we had three mature follicles, 8.2 mm lining, 50 million sperm and acupuncture. Woohoo!

I’ve been trying to take more time for prayer and reflection this time around and even created a little baby box to put things like pictures, prayers and trinkets that I have unknowingly been collecting. It’s been a great way to physically see my hopes and dreams .

baby box

So far I’ve added a darling little silver flatware set that was David’s, a picture of the two of us on our wedding day, the inside of a music box that plays my favorite song – ‘Hey Jude’, a fortune from a little Thai restaurant in New Mexico that says, “Your fondest dream will come true within this year”, and a tea bag quote from the Raspberry Leaf tea that I am drinking by the gallons that says, “From a small seed a mighty trunk may grow”. Since taking this picture I have also added a Jade carved angel and a Rose Quartz bracelet.

As the holidays approach I am feeling the desire to alienate myself from David’s family. We have only told his mom and, at this point, I just can’t really handle the baby questions now that we are taking some pretty bold steps to actuate our desire to be parents. My family has never been pushy about us having children, but GOOD GAWD does David’s family lay it on thick.  So, the plan is to not make any plans until after my test on Nov. 8, which is next Wednesday.

Wish us luck!

 

Feel It With Me

The emptiness inside feels blinding.
But only to me.
I’m tired of hiding.
Ready to let it shine through.
I’m sick of worrying whether or not my pain will make you uncomfortable.
That’s YOUR problem now.
Quite possibly I want you to squirm.
Maybe I want you to feel just a sliver of what has been eating at my insides for so long.
Look me in the eye and face my pain.
Don’t Dismiss.
Don’t ignore.
Don’t try to fix.
Feel.
Feel it with me.
Please.

Here I Am.

Hey there, fertility peeps! The name’s Sarah, I’m 28, married to my high-school sweetheart and struggling with infertility. I’ve started this blog as a way to speak my truth and maybe even help others to do the same.

My husband and I have been trying for a baby just shy of two years now. We are in the beginning stages of medical intervention and have just completed one unsuccessful round of IUI (intra-uterine insemination). We will be taken this next cycle off to gather funds and emotional stability.

woman follows the road to freedom

 

This blog is coming to fruition as I am experiencing an awakening of my mind, body and soul. For so long, I have hidden my struggles to conceive and the pain that it brings from others but have recently come to realize that this has only added insult to injury. I have gotten to the point where I am no longer interested in keeping my heart closed for risk of making others uncomfortable.

So, here I am.